Ramadan has a lot, and for quite a time, been seen as an extreme rule to follow. Many also think that Ramadan is nothing but the name of the action of fasting, while it’s the name of a holy month, among 11 other months based on the lunar cycle.
It seems as if today, the feeling towards Ramadan from non-muslim people has softened. Indeed, fasting for a couple of hours is more and more practiced because of all the benefits that are becoming publicly known.
Yes, Ramadan allows to purify our organism and to rest during the day. But Ramadan’s fasting isn’t only about food, but also the soul. Generally, people take new resolutions the day of the new year, to change, progress, and get closer to their objectives. Our new year is Ramadan because our habits change. Ramadan is for reading more Quran, meditating about it, get rid of insults, feel the difficulties of those whom Allah ﷻ has not given what we’ve got, share from our wealth, pray more, make more dhikr and learn more about our religion.
Maybe, one of your goals is also about softening your temper. Maybe you shout too quickly? Your head gets hots, your blood boils, and you can’t control your actions nor your words anymore when something that lightens up your anger gets to you. The key is patience. To manage your emotions, you need patience. But patience won’t fall on your head, it’s something when we naturally don’t have it, gain it. To meditate, you need patience. To read, you need patience too. Being able to do the action of sitting and slowly, but surely, for example, reciting the words of Allah ﷻ, asks of you to be patient and to accept the silent vibes who surround you. The action of praying, sitting down and silently doing dhikr, lightens up your mind. If you get conscious of the effects of those worship actions on you, you will slowly understand, how you must act when anger comes. You will need to listen to your emotions and feel it growing, to be able to calm it down. Thinking, and talking to yourself while actively tasting that temper that’s gradually getting twisted, will empower you to get a big hand on it and stay calm.
The Prophet once asked his Companions:
“Whom among you do you consider a strong man?” They replied, “The one who can defeat so-and-so in a wrestling contest.” He said, “That is not so; a strong man is the one who can control himself when he is angry” [Saheeh Al-Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim]
Next step? Holding your anger is the worst because it will blast. Maybe not in a short time, but it will for sure. Emotions are like the gas that fills up the balloon. If you give it more than it’s volume, it will explode. So, release it. But… not by shouting or by being unpleasant. Release it with exercising, writing about it, talking to Allah about it. Make your prayer, and tell all of it during your sujud. Complain. Explain The heart will leave those emotions on your prayer mat, and when you will get up, you will see that they left you.
Release it with the Quran. While you pronounce the Quran’s words, give it you all, by making it as beautiful as possible, with an assertive voice, and, while your vocal cords strongly vibrate, you will, slowly, be softened and released.
Remember, facing an insulting person or an irritating situation with the same negative emotions will only make anger around you bigger. But if you stay calm, and think about the good words and actions, you will solve it with a wiser mind. And sometimes, only silence is the solution.